Life has been, if nothing else, interesting. And, without boring you with the minutiae of the lurid details, I’ve been to many places and seen many things. Been fortunate in some ways, but not so much in others. It’s been a manic life for sure; full of world travel and good but fractured relationships. Made my choices, there were some less than pleasant consequences, but at least I had options.

Reasonably well educated, I’ve been able to have a varied career rich in experiences but not so wealthy financially. I’ve been and still am a daughter, a mother, and now estranged wife after over two decades of marriage. I am a cook and gardener who spends most of the year living in a second floor apartment with a small kitchen and and a patch of porch. I live for our annual visit to our old farm in France, where my daughters spent most of their primary school years, for a few short weeks every year.

However, I love what I do and my work gives me a deep sense of purpose and contentment.  I  work as a trained horticultural therapist bringing brief green relief to people living out their lives in a multi-story long term care facility. Some of them, much younger than I, have little or no options left. That respite in the greenhouse is a short hour away from the noise and rigid routines of an institutionalized life.

I also teach a healthy options cooking class to adults with significant vision loss at the Vision Loss Alliance in Denville, NJ. Their humor and determination to live as independently as possible is remarkable.  Never before did I meet such a truly genuine and awe-inspiring group of people and their lovely dogs. Such a clarity of vision gained from people who cannot see.

Being 60 years old and feeling more confused than ever before. This is the start of the newest, and perhaps, most difficult stage of life. It will be the slow but steady trajectory into old age and with it may come the many losses; family and friends; health and physical strength; fading social status and dwindling financial resources. Staying well and fiscally secure, staying positively and socially engaged with those around us, as well as, keeping heart and soul intact will become, I believe, will be the prominent challenges during this next decade of life. Holy crap, will there be any options left at all?!? Of course there will be.

Age may have slowed us down, experience taught us a few hard knock lessons but it shouldn’t turn us away from the barefaced optimism and resilience of the younger generations. Time to relish and laugh again at those follies and mistakes of our past youths. Try to remember that fizzing sensation when you proved your parents or your teachers or your first boss wrong…felt pretty good when life was full of seemingly endless options.

There is so much anger and blame in the social politics of today’s world. But, there is also much genuine goodness around us. People who work tirelessly to make this world of ours a better, cleaner, safer, more just place. All that blame and bile should not blind us to all of the social progress that we’ve seen and/or made in our lifetimes.

Let’s not be dismissive either of the old-timers who fought for freedom and social justice during the generations before us. Remind the world and celebrate those achievements for they built the foundation on which all future effort must stand firmly in balance. Study history and be amazed of how we humans can lift ourselves out of roiling pools of evil and overcome the most back-breaking, mind-bending obstacles.

Share this conversation with today’s youth. And, any stories our elderly relatives may have shared with us when we were too young and busy to appreciate them. My grandmother was a fighter who told great stories. I will never forget her strong sense of conviction and passionate rambling narratives. It’s the spoken and hand-written testimonies, the faded photos  that makes all of this personal history feel relevant.

Let’s try to show our children and our children’s children that life is worth living with great heart by taking pleasure in the small, seemingly mundane little daily details that make us smile.  Having as many of these micro-moments of joy as humanly possible are just as important as the occasional exclamations of big ticket benchmark events: like that degree or wedding or spiffy new job.

Sure, we have to pay the rent and put food on the table, but we can do that while living life with truth and purpose; not solely based on personal material gain. Let’s celebrate individuality. Everyone struggles with their inner landscape of life’s conflicting choices or the dictates of their DNA. Don’t judge your family or friends if they choose something other than what you presumed to be the proper pathway. Consider all of the options, sometimes the lesser one leads to greater opportunities and happiness down the road.

And, lastly, we really need to learn how to forgive each other. I know in my family, many have gone to the grave carrying  grudges and animosity. It leaves behind a legacy of hurt and confusion that can carry on for the generations ahead. This is probably one of the saddest scenarios of all, where all the options for that last chance, tearful reunion have gone up in smoke.